Intro to me

Hello people,

I want to tell you my life story. I don't know where to start. But a wise person once said where better to start, but the beginning.

I grew up in California. I thought my life was perfect. We were not rich but we had everything to me. I still remember when the first razor blade was found in an apple at Halloween. Things got a little different after that, but time moved on. We moved around a lot, every year. But this was normal to me and my parents always told me I made friends real fast, and I believed them.

Finally my parents bought a house and I figured we would be staying there for a while. And we did. I was about 11 years old and I was happy. But one day my mom and dad asked my brother and I to come in to have a talk. And I just knew it. There were no "signs" or reasons, but I knew it just the same. They told us they weren't happy any more and they were going to separate for a while. But I was no fool, we all knew they would never be together again.

My mother moved onto the pull out couch for a little while, then she moved in with my friend and her mother. I decided to moved with her and I thought that would be great. But a lot of things happened in the next couple years. I had sex for the first time in my father's back yard. The boy was so popular. He broke up with his girlfriend just to go out with me and that made me feel special. Funny thing is she came to me and told me that he would come right back to her after he had sex with me. And she was right. And the sex was awful. I hated it. And I told my self if this is what sex was all about, then I didn't want anything to do with it. And it was almost 4 years before I tried it again.

My mother was doing drugs now. She tried to hide it, but the house was small. I didn't really care. My friend had a couple of abortions and she was only 14. And when my mother that normally wore Tampons, suddenly began wearing pads and acting a little different, I noticed the signs. I asked her on the phone. I couldn't believe she would have an abortion. This was my bother or sister. I was never more upset at my mother in my life. To me my mother could do no wrong, until now. I don't think I have ever gotten over that.

My Dad thought I was difficult. I don't remember why he felt that way, but once he took me to a home for troubled youth to show me how difficult it could be. I just laughed at him. This place was like the four seasons. I guess if your going to try to scare you child into submission, you should do your homework first.

One day I had done something wrong. I don't remember what it was but he decided to spank me for it. I was laying on him bed when he came in angry. I didn't want the punishment so I fought him. in the fight I got a black eye from my own knee. I got free and ran from there. My mother only lived a couple blocks away. The next day we were on the road to my grandparents house near LA.

Once again my mother couldn't just make it work. She wanted to go back. And on the way home; where ever that was going to be, my mother stoped in to see my Aunt and Uncle. Some how my Aunt convinced her that we were better off staying there "just until she got back on her feet." I have never lived with my mother again, I was 13.

I only heard from my mom a couple times after that. Once she even won some money from the lottery. But I guess she didn't think $10,000 was enough to be back on her feet. She kind of disappeared after that. We even tried to find her with no luck.

In the mean time we were living with my two cousins. One female, 16 and one boy about 8 years old. The were both used to getting anything they wanted but now that there were two more mouths to feed they didn't get as much. the female we will call Jill was the most spoiled of the two. She hated me for years. Because she was older them me, her mother would often make her hand me down he clothes. Jill never thought I was worthy of them nor did I take good enough care of them. My Aunt drank quite a bit too. And though I am grateful for all she did for me, I am not blind to what she didn't do to help. Though Jill normally hard very good grades and I had very bad grades I will never forget the one day I brought home a good report card. My Aunt was sitting at the breakfast table smoking her cigarette and drinking a glass of wine when Jill and I both came in. We both showed our report cards, and though Jill's was much worse then ever before she was told good job and keep up the good work. But to mine I was told I needed to do better. I asked my Aunt why Jill was given support and I was not; at which point her wine was thrown in my face and I was told never to compair myself to her daughter again. And I did not.

Jill's little brother was a typical little kid until the day he blamed me for something I never did. Let us call him Frank. Jill had been smoking in the house while her mother was at work. Normally she remembered to get rid of the evidence but she forgot on this day. They didn't smoke the same kind. And when my Aunt came home she noticed there were extra cigarette butts in the ash tray. When confronted my little cousin Frank said that I did it. I was shocked. I hadn't done anything to provoke this behavior. My Aunt decided that she was going to teach me a lesson. She pulled out a carten of cigarettes. She told me that I was to smoke them all. I really didn't think she would have me do it. I had smoked before, I didn't smoke any more and even when I did, it wasn't very much. So I lit the first one. My Aunt taunted me telling me I was lighting up like an old pro. I took a puff and she ordered me to inhale it. As soon as I let out the smoke she ordered me to inhale another, and another, and another. She wouldn't let me breath any oxygen. I began to get sick. I ran to the bathroom and got sick. She continued to hound me about the smoking thought I told her if I was the smoker I don't think the smoke would be that big of a deal. end of part one.